Among the host of negative emotions that drain our energy is one that you would do well to become aware of and drain out of your life. As I was listening to an audio recording of Earl Nightingale this morning, he reminded me that if we could see all our “problems” in their true light, we would not be blinded by them. That’s the biggest waste of energy in our lives, worry.
A worry is a state of anxiety and uncertainty over actual or potential problems. The keys in that definition are “actual” or “potential.” Are you anxious or uncertain about something that already happened or something that you are afraid will happen. If it has not yet happened, why consider its possibility? If it has already happened, should you be worried about something you can do something about? No, because you can just go ahead and do what you can do about it. Should you be worried about something you can do nothing about? No, because there is nothing you can do about it anyway.
As per Earl Nightingale’s account, of all the things we worry about:
40% never happen.
30% are over or in the past and nothing can be done about it anyway.
12% are about our state of health (hypochondriacal).
10% are just petty and needless worries.
8% are legitimate concerns we can do something about.
A whopping 92% of all our worries are complete waste of energy. Of 10 thoughts or concerns we have, just about 1 is justifiable. How do you find out that 1 out of the 10? You assume the best always, and for the thing that really might be frightening, put them in perspective. How do you put things and situation in perspective?
You ask yourself the following questions in that order:
Is this something that should have my full attention? If yes, why?
Will this matter situation matter in a few hours, days, weeks, or years?
What can I do (if anything) to change this situation?
If I can’t do anything or I choose to do nothing, what are the consequences I have to face and am I okay with that?
Worrying makes everything look worse than it is. Put things in perspective. Face all the unpleasant or difficult situations that present themselves in your life with grace and serenity. Always believe that ultimately, things will workout to your advantage, and they will.
One of the authors who have had a great impact on my growth is Brian Tracy. I have read in his books quite a few times that a plane is off course over 90 percent of the time. But planes reach their destinations close to 100% of the time.
Planes are incredible pieces of engineering, so are human beings. Every plane before take off goes through a series of tests to ensure its integrity and guarantee the safety of all the passengers on board. All planes leaving an airport have a clear destination. Virtually nobody would accept to board a plane if they didn’t know exactly where the plane would end up.
Just like planes we all must have a destination at any single moment of our life experience. Our destination will always determine our direction, and as a corollary, our direction determines our destination. One of the greatest tragedies of life is that most people don’t have a destination, or are not clear enough about it.
The only thing worse than being off-track, is not having a track to run on. Having a track to run on is knowing where you are headed with your life, and that determines what choices you make on a daily basis. Just like I have heard Dr. Wayne Dyer say quite a few times through his books and audio programs: “We are the sum total of the choices and decisions we make every single day, every single moment.”
That means to improve the quality of our lives, we must improve the quality of our choices. To improve the quality of our choices, we must improve how much clarity we have about our destination. To improve how much clarity we have about our destination, we must accept the fact that being off-track does not mean we are off-course. Course correction is part of the course.
Keep your eyes on the prize, on your destination. At the same time, enjoy the detours life sometimes imposes us. Keep making course corrections and stay on-track, no matter how off-track it might sometimes seem you are.
It’s easy to laugh at people’s goals and dreams, especially when it is people who we are close to and have seen grow. Our conscious minds as humans love to categorize and group things for them to make sense and consequently create a smoother life experience for us.
But the tragedy that comes with that is when we unconsciously keep people in smaller boxes than they are or trying to be in. If you have nothing good to say when someone shares their big goals and dreams with you, keep quiet. Countless dreams have been squished because pessimistic words were spoken when someone was at their most vulnerable. It takes courage to dream, it takes even more courage to share those dreams with the people we are close to. It is ironic that usually it is people who know the least about us who end up being our greatest cheerleaders.
If you have ever had your goals and dreams laughed at, especially by people close to you, let their laughs inspire you as you plough through the challenges in becoming a better person and living all your dreams. I certainly have, and I am inspired and fuelled by those non-believers.
Just like Frank Sinatra said: “The best revenge is massive success.”
Operating with integrity at all times is challenging but it is a worthy goal. Considering the fact that perfection is not a human trait, how can we really claim to have integrity when we cannot be perfect no matter how much or how hard we try?
Maybe those words (integrity, perfection) are just words and what truly makes a difference is how we live our daily lives. Words have different meanings depending on who uses them, based on their life experiences and their belief system and core values. Those are shaped through years of exposure to a multitude of life experience interpreted via the lenses of positive, negative or neutral from the perspective of the one living the experience.
Integrity is one of my core values. But can I really have integrity when I am inherently not perfect? Is there any congruence in that? Can integrity be congruent with imperfection?