A few days ago I had a phone call from someone who has an extreme fear of public speaking. He revealed to me that he wanted to join a Toastmasters group to help him actively work on getting over his fear, and I congratulated him for making that decision. Then he went ahead and told me about a presentation that he had to give the following day and he was petrified and getting highly stressed just thinking about it. We spoke on the phone for about 20 to 30 minutes and I took him through a series of steps to help him overcome his fear and deliver a better presentation than otherwise.
Just like most other people who experience fear of other things or situations, the things we fear only come real the more we spend energy and time thinking and nurturing those fears. The process to overcome a fear of any kind involves developing a more positive mental attitude. How do you do that? I share with you a 4 steps process that will help you in the creating and cultivating a more positive mental attitude. This process will improve the outcome of any situation you find yourself in.
Acknowledge the fear you have. Don’t deny or ignore it. Most likely you are not the only one, nor the first or the last, to experience that apprehension about the outcome of a situation. By acknowledging your discomfort with the situation, you open your mind to the possibility of changing those feelings, those emotions.
Sometimes when I over speed on the freeway, the fear of a police car coming out of nowhere and pulling me over to give me a big speeding ticket comes to mind. I first and foremost acknowledge that thought, that feeling by bringing it to my awareness. Once you can look at the situation in the face despite your anxiety, you can move to the next step.
For every negative thought that comes to your mind, you can find a corresponding positive. During the shifting process, you think of positive outcomes that are as ridiculous as your negative outcomes. For example in my case with over speeding and getting pulled over to be served an expensive ticket, the outrageous positive would getting pulled over to be given a 100 dollar bill by a cop, when I respect the speed limit, or because I drive fast enough. That’s plain ridiculous and the chances of that happening are as slim as the chances of me getting a speeding ticket. Have I gotten a speeding ticket before, yes. Have I received a 100 dollar bill from a police officer yet, no. But I am open to the possibility and every time that thought comes to mind, it makes me smile and puts me in a good mood.
In the case of the gentleman who called me and had an upcoming presentation, I recommended him to think about the opposite of every single one of his fears when it comes to public speaking. That way, after acknowledging those fears, he can draw the positives out of his mind and consciously replace the negative with them. To make the most of the shifting process, you need to apply the next step which is writing.
Writing is the process of finding the right words and capture your thoughts on paper. In this process of developing a more positive mental attitude, writing must be done on paper, not on a computer or any other electronic device. When you write on paper those positive outcomes, it increases the possibility of them happening, and decrease the chances of you experiencing the negative outcomes. By writing the positive scenarios, you are focusing and spending more energy on them. That works becomes whatever you focus on expands.
Using your imagination, one of the fun things you can do is create a journal of positive outrageous situation you will find yourself in. For example, if you are afraid of spiders, write up a short paragraph where you find yourself locked up with the queen of spiders and she begins to worship you and beg you for you to spare her life. This might sound ridiculous, but it is as ridiculous as you dying from a spider’s venom, or exposure to its web.
You must have heard the saying “Life and death are in the power of your tongue.” If you had not, you just read it. That statement is so true it is ridiculous. To develop a more positive mental attitude and have good things happen to you, you must speak them. Remembering that what you focus on expand, you must crown all the previous steps with the spoken word of the good outcomes you have written in the third step. Speak out loud at the top of your voice if you can. This will make you laugh and release positive hormones that make you feel better. When you feel better, you tend to look better. When you look better, people speak to you better and your positive outcomes are realized.
Developing a more positive mental attitude and getting rid of your fears is a process that will take time. The steps listed above, when applied regularly will produce wonders and progressively transform you into a fearless human being who only attracts good things.
What process do you use to develop a more positive mental attitude?
Day 21 of 21: 100 words per day for 21 days. 905 words.